Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Stubborn Dad

I don't know is it dad too stress or he very unhappy when he was working..because always he came back home,his mood and temper also not really good...he always very angry and keep on scolding us...maybe this is the way he release his unhappy and anger...but I really totally hate it..maybe for sometimes I still can accept it,but for him is not...he always like that..
And today he tell my younger sister to write a sign and stick on my bedroom door "NO GUYS ALLOW"...oh my god! What's wrong with him...i know his meaning is don't want let my boyfriend come in my bedroom..but I'm sharing room with 2 sister and what's wrong if my boyfriend come in? We are playing computer and chatting with my sisters..I really don't know what I'm do wrong..
He want I back earlier,ok I'm back...but why at home he also wan stop me to do anything? I feel I have no freedom...I don't want stay at home,I go out...he keep on ask my mom call me back...he wan me at home before he come back..is only 10pm something he say i always go out till very late..but what for if I stay at home?
Why don't he change a little bit? Just a little bit I also happy...can he become don't so easy get angry and always be happy at home? I just want him to be like that..you know,we all are very afraid to ask and chat our thing with him...if don't have my mom he won't know what we want and will not know what we happen...sometimes even 1 week I didn't talk with him before,even we stay in the same house,even he is my dad...
Sometimes he say 1 no people will say 2...so all my sisters very less to talk with him except my younger sister,she is the 1 can talk with my dad...maybe she still young and she can always make my dad smile...even my aunties and uncle also say him before but he still like that..why my dad so stubborn...if he can go out and have some drink with his friends I think he will not so stress...but I didn't see before he go out with friend except any company dinner or wedding...
I not really want to argue with my dad...I just try to tell him my feeling but he won't listen what I said...I really don't wan be like that...really don't hope...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

How is the future of mine?

Sometimes I don't know I working here is it worth..but I really don't hope myself regret..because this is what I choose..
Is it I work at here is very free and make me very lazy to find other job outside? Maybe is the contract make me scare,scare to leave..or maybe is myself problem? I don't wan to go outside and try to accept another job?
I admit there is also a reason why I don't wan to go find another job..actually I also don't know what myself want to do..I really confuse about it..
I not really want to blame my parents for not paying me for study,I know they have no enough money to let me study any course..but i really hope they will support what I have done and what I choose..is not just always saying some annoying thing..
I know now i work is so little money and I no give them..but do they think of my way?
Not that saying they are not good enough..is just I wan them to care me or understand me more..not I don't want to give them money is i also not enough to use..
Say about money they always will said this is what I choose..why don't I choose some high salary job and all that kind of talking..
If i really got take the course now i won't working here and get low salary..
Who want to be like tat?? No one..
So i don't wan to let them know i work here is not good..although sometimes got any unhappy thing happen when i working i also don't hope to tell them..